This Is For My Sister

Okay so after posting about my mum last night I thought it would be cute to do a mini-series of posts to do with the three closest people I hold onto in life. First was my mum, second is my sister and third is obviously gonna be my best friend.

Ella Crumpton is my little sister. My beautiful, talented 16 year old sister, who I will protect with my life.
Ella can be reserved, she doesn’t like to show weakness. No matter how many times you tell her it’s okay to, she just won’t. It’s not a bad thing, it can just hurt to know that she’s holding so much in to look strong. She can’t hide from me though, she sure as fuck tries to and will yell at me when I try to coax her, but I know when she’s not feeling good.
She’s 16 years old, what 16 year old would want to have their big sister coddling them? I know that when she’s older she will be more accepting of it.

She is really so much less emotional than me. Like anyone that knows me, will know I can cry at anything. Literally anything. If the ending of a film is really happy, I will cry because I’m so happy that the characters are happy. Don’t even get me started on the sad bits, I am a wreck with most things, hell I cry at some talent shows for fuck sake. And Disney films are literally my kryptonite, Lilo and Stitch? One of my all times faves, even though I cry though pretty much every fucking minute of it. Ella on the other hand, I’ve known her to cry at but two things: Sherlock and Deathnote. She has been known to well up at Up and Inside Out as well. I relish these moments, cause we are both in tears and I’m like hell fucking yeah Ella you cry at this! You do get it!
She literally mocks me when we watch the sad bits of films. She knows what will set me off, I feel those eyes on me when I’m crying, do I care? No, I am proud to cry at Winnie The Pooh, nobody can shame me.
I love that connection we have, the bond we share as sisters is so so strong. Hell yeah, we argue and fight and god she makes me want to tear shit apart cause she is so fucking annoying. And I’m annoying af too. We know how to get to each other, we know the weak spots. But if anyone hurts my baby sister in anyway, I will tear them apart. I will watching them so hard, if they come anywhere near her again they will want to die. And it’s the same back, she is protective of me. When I came back heartbroken during the Christmas holidays she was there for me, and she hugged me so much and made me smile as much as she could. When I’m upset at uni and she knows, she will actually answer the phone, she has this specific voice for it. It’s so light and caring and you can hear how much she wants you to feel better.

Ella Grace Crumpton is fucking gorgeous. Everyone agrees with me. If any of you have seen her Facebook or her in person you will know what I mean. She is tall, has the best eyes and rocks so many looks and styles. She does not realise how shit she makes me feel about myself even when we’re getting ready to go for a simple meal at a random place in Rayleigh. I compare myself to her and I hate myself, I don’t know how she does it but she manages to look amazing every second of every day. And she makes me try so much harder, even when we’re apart I look at her Instagram and I look in the mirror and I wonder how to make myself look like that.

By the way Ella, you are talented, you know deep down you are so please start believing it. My sister is an amazing god damn artist. Anyone that knows her, knows this as a fact. The more she develops her skills the more it shines. She is going to go so far with this talent of hers, she can utilize it in so many different ways. I am so gonna find some pictures of her stuff just so I can show her off to the world.

She’s also so smart. She doesn’t believe it but she is very clever she just lacks the confidence. She’s killing her GCSEs even with her blocks. Her blocks are similar to mine, and the fact that I’m her older sister and I’m meant to be the one she looks up to, it’s hard not feel at least a little bit to blame for it. I’m watching her suffer the way I did and it’s the worst feeling watching that and not being able to do more to help.

All I want is for my sister to be happy, to feel happy with the woman she is. Holy fuck I’m crying so much right now, I miss you Ella.



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